How a participant of a reality show was on the front line
In Russia, on December 5, the Day of the Volunteer or Volunteer is celebrated. What motivates volunteers? A question to which, perhaps, there is no unambiguous answer. For someone, “saving” is a state of mind, for someone helping others is the ideology of life. They are not always understood, some even condemn and look for a catch in every act. Others admire and lead by example. But, one way or another, these people are among us. The correspondent of “MK” talked with the former participant of the show “Dom-2” Natalia Him, call sign “Wolf mother”, who in 2014 came to Donbass as a volunteer and spent three years in the militia.
Photo: From my personal archive
“In “Dom-2″ I got into a dispute”
This slender blonde could be more of a model or an actress – without too much flattery, I will say, the appearance allows. But she chose a different path for herself. Looking ahead, I will note that during our conversation, the question “How could this girl have ended up in the war at all?” was struggling in me with a sense of pride that, despite all the political, economic and social difficulties, there are people who are ready to help those who need this help vitally.
– It was a long time ago, in 2007. I actually went there for a bet. Before the war, I sang a little and acted in films. My friends and I were celebrating February 23, and then I got a phone call on my mobile phone with an invitation to come to the project. Friends heard, and it began: “Yes, you’re weak, you’re not going…” Well, I went on principle. It so happened that other participants voted for me, and I stayed. My family only found out where I was a few days later. In the same place, as soon as you sign a contract, your phone is immediately taken away from you. But I didn’t want to stay for longto linger there, so I didn’t build relationships with anyone, but only constantly conflicted. I still had the image of a kid like this: bald-shaven, grinders… The producer, of course, did not like my position, and because of this we also had scandals. After four months, the degree of heat rose above nowhere, and I decided that I had had enough. The project was finished. If we talk about volunteering, even before Donbass, I joined the Lisa Alert search party, and I remain there to this day. Whenever possible, I try to help animals.
– Let’s start with the fact that before Donbass I already knew what war was. At the end of the second Chechen campaign, I came to Grozny with humanitarian aid. Therefore, I had a clear idea that there was no resort there. Without unnecessary illusions.
My youth was spent in the so-called informal environment: skinheads, football fans… At that time, we were very close friends with the Shakhtar fan club.
Shakhtar is a Ukrainian professional football club from the city of Donetsk, playing in the Ukrainian Premier League. Winner of the UEFA Cup, thirteen-time champion of Ukraine, thirteen-time winner of the Cup of Ukraine, nine-time winner of the Super Cup of Ukraine, four-time winner of the USSR Cup.
Even before the tragedy in Odessa on May 2, 2014, the guys from “support” (fans who support the team. – Author) they began to agitate me to come and stand on the side of Ukraine. At first I didn’t quite understand exactly where they were calling me. There were some vague phrases: “Come on, come on, and we’ll transfer there.”
Shirokino Photo: From the personal archive
I will not hide that initially the idea of the Maidan itself was close to me, as well as to many. But no one expected what it would result in. People were “divorced”, pressed on painful, lively topics, from which everyone is very tired: rampant corruption, you can’t do anything without money, but there is no money… And then Odessa happened, when people were burned alive. It just didn’t fit in my head. In our party, opinions were divided, and then it became clear who, where and on whose side.
And so I come to Donetsk, but it turns out that my “touts” are already in Kiev. I remember we called, I say: “I mean, are you in Kiev? You are Donetsk people. What did you forget there?” And they answered me: “In the direct. Come to us too. Let’s go to Azov to serve together.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. “What kind of “Azov”?! – I’m shouting into the phone. – Are you going to kill your own, shell your own houses?!”
But after talking for some more time, I realized that we were not on our way further. They were brainwashed there. There were people – they became zombies, they didn’t hear anything anymore.
Of course, it was very insulting to me then. I left everything in Moscow, came, consider, to nowhere, and how to proceed is unclear. “Mine” – everyone in Ukraine, more precisely, those whom I considered “my own”. By the way, they also wrote to me later: like, let’s meet on the battlefield, they sent all sorts of threats… Just so you understand, I was only 25 years old at that time.
Fortunately, in addition to those “comrades”, I had other acquaintances in Donetsk. In general, before the war I loved this city very much and often came there. For myself, I clearly decided that I would stay here in the militia. I just couldn’t go back and live peacefully in Moscow, knowing that people are being killed here, children. A grandmother comes out with a cross on a tank, and her tank is being crushed… It was impossible to remain indifferent. You see, if I hadn’t stayed there, I wouldn’t have been me.
– Of course, it’s scary. For myself, for those who stayed in the Donbas, for those who left for the side of Ukraine… It’s a very strange feeling: you knew people, you were even friends with someone. And now, if you meet and the situation forces, you will kill him. Just because otherwise he’ll kill you.
– I found the end of 2014 in Lugansk. At first I went to the LPR, I wanted to get to serve Alexei Mozgov or Alexander Bednov. But, unfortunately, I did not have time to get to know them personally, I left for Donetsk. Then they were gone. And I just joined the militia guys and stayed.
With Polynkov Photo: From the personal archive
– Well, at first, of course, there were all sorts of jokes, not without that. But I didn’t hear vulgarity from anyone, and no one bothered me. For my luck, no one knew for the first year that I was a participant in the Dom-2 project, otherwise I can’t imagine how many jokes I would have listened to in my address. Probably, this show was not so popular in Ukraine, and people did not recognize me. Or maybe I’ve changed so much. Don’t know.
– In 2015, I was invited to a live broadcast, and there someone recognized me and wrote that I was in “House 2”. But then all the colleagues took it more or less normally.
«The Nazis mocked the prisoners for fun“
– A lot of people. With Igor Strelkov, with Givi, with Motorola. Mamai and I were very friendly.
Oleg Mamiev, call sign “Mamai”, is a participant in the war in Donbass, lieutenant colonel of the armed forces of the DPR, commander of the international brigade “Pyatnashka”. One of the founders of the Donbass Volunteer Union. He died on May 17, 2018.
We came up with a birthday present for Sasha Zakharchenko together: we wanted to give a black wolf cub. But Oleg did not live to see this moment, and we presented the gift together with the guys from the “Tag”. The wolf cub was named Faithful Alan Mountain Winds.
And Mamai and I also dreamed of moving the shelled Dokuchaevsky Zoo to Donetsk and building a new, large one there, so that the animals would be free-range. Zakharchenko supported us with this idea. But they didn’t have time.
– Oh, listen, whatever you have to. It happened that there was not a penny of money at all. I worked for some time at Igor Ivanovich Strelkov’s warehouse with humanitarian aid. By the way, he is the only person who has engaged in huge supplies of humanitarian aid for animals to various home and small shelters. I was offended for the animals, and I just asked him to send at least some food to the shelter “4 Paws”,where we took the wounded animals. And Igor Ivanovich sent several tons and began to do it on a regular basis. What was there just for animals! Thanks to this, not only promoted shelters like “Mutual Fund” were provided with feed, for example, to which money and feed were always sent from abroad, but also ordinary, home animal shelters, private ones. They needed the most, but no one cared about them.
It’s not just people who suffer from war. We ourselves brought seriously injured animals to shelters from the front line, the girls nursed them. There were no days off: you are on the front line, then in the warehouse.
They used to live both in the location and in all sorts of incomprehensible rooms, when the financial situation was a little better, in a hotel… They moved constantly. There was no such thing as getting on the point – and that’s it. The longest point where I lived was the Central Hotel.
– No, of course not. They did a discount, and that’s good. We paid 900 rubles a month, for water and for light.
– It’s different for everyone. Personally, I rented an apartment in Moscow. We have always helped each other. Money will come to me for the apartment – I’ll buy something for the guys. Then, when I’m not doing well– they will help. Yes, in fact we had everything in common. There is no other way to survive the war.
– OK. That’s really very good. Except in cases when people were sold to Ukrainians and handed us over. For example, we carry water, bread, medicines, the locals see it, and after a while we come under fire. Once a school bus with children almost came under such fire. Fortunately, we managed to deploy it. In Novolaspe (Telmanovsky district. – “MK”) it was. First, the machine gunners shot at us, then the snipers began to work. Upon arrival, they already understood who was shooting from what. Two hundred meters to the car. I had to crawl on stones, on broken glass. There was a girl with us, the driver’s wife– – she thought of it: she went in a dress and heels. I told her at the beginning of the journey: “Why are you dressed like that? You justyou’re setting us up. How can I get you out then?!” That was not easy for her to crawl at all. While we were driving out between the houses, we look, the bus with the children is going. The driver seems to be asleep and does not see that they are bombing. I had to block the road with my car. I fly up to the bus, yell obscenities at the driver… In general, they turned the bus around. Fortunately, no one was injured.
– A lot. There were even prisoners who said they were glad that they had come to us. I remember a seventeen-year-old kid got caught, so he generally said that he came out to us on purpose. He was afraid to openly go over to the side of Donbass, because he understood that inadequate Nazis were serving around him, and if they found out, they would kill him.
– Often. Both ours and Ukrainians. That side of the tin that did with the prisoners. Sometimes they just mocked me for fun. When I remember, I still cringe. It seems that time has already passed, and somehow I’m trying to abstract myself from memories, but I still can’t fully return to peaceful life. Only the habit of listening to every noise has gone. And before any fireworks, firecrackers – you immediately look with your eyes for where something is flying from.
Badge of the Donbass volunteer Photo: From the personal archive
– Enough. I’ll tell you that there were women who were braver than some men.
– The girls are mostly local. Guys – 50-50. Girls were really appreciated, protected as best they could.
– Well, how about without it? Still living people. I got married in the war myself. Our wedding was the second most discussed after Motorola’s wedding. The whole Internet was buzzing…
Arsen Pavlov, call sign “Motorola”, is a participant in the armed conflict in eastern Ukraine, commander of the anti-tank special unit “Sparta” of the DPR. He died on October 16, 2016.
We generally thought that there would be some kind of provocation at the wedding – more precisely, we were even warned that such a thing was possible. But fortunately everything passed quietly. Then, in 2016, I gave birth to a child in Donetsk and went to Moscow with my daughter. And my husband is still serving in the Donbas.
“There is constant propaganda that Russia is the enemy”
– I came to fight because I needed it, and not for the sake of a military officer or something else, so I stayed in the “unofficial”. Someone was making out.
– It got worse. More cruelty. Look at them yourself (Ukrainian. – Auth.) children. They didn’t come to this by themselves – it means that someone put such thoughts and such words into their heads. There is constant propaganda that Russia is the enemy, and all their troubles are because of the Russians.
– I don’t think so. The most fundamental ones remained. And why should they leave, leave their home and run away? Do you know how to understand that a person who was born in the Donbass is Russian? He didn’t run away. I’m not saying that everyone should follow their example. But personally, I am proud of these people. They live for the sake of their country, so that their children can then live there, without war, without Maidan…
– I will answer you directly: everyone already understands that this is the most commercial war. And why Mozgovoy was killed. And why Sasha Zakharchenko died. Now, it seems to me, the scenario of 2014 is being replayed in the Donbas. And it will not be possible to stop it without Russia’s help. Now many people are dissatisfied with Putin, but personally I think that it is not his fault, but his entourage. And to him it isthe environment must be cleaned. War, in my opinion, is a kind of vicious circle that can be broken not by forced reconciliation, but by non-standard. Because the standards that are now used to unite countries no longer work. Pay attention to Armenia and Azerbaijan. No matter how much they put up, armed conflicts continue anyway.
As for Ukraine, it seems to me that as soon as its financial support from the West stops, the war will end.
Wedding Photo: From the personal archive
– I left for Moscow in 2016, after the birth of a child– – I had to do the documents and so, some issues to solve. It took longer than I originally thought. And when everything settled down, I realized that there was no point in returning to Donbass anymore. 2017. What was I supposed to do there already? At first, I still came there often, and then less and less.
But it was hard to get out of the habit. And now, sometimes, he finds it. You think: “Why is that? Mine are all there, and I’m here.” Only the child holds it. If it wasn’t for my daughter, I would have left long ago. Especially seeing what is happening now.
–I’ve been thinking about that, too. In life, there are often situations when volunteers come to the rescue, and not those who should come on duty or work. But it doesn’t really matter where it came from to someone who is waiting for help. The end result is important. And therefore it is necessary to promote good and it is necessary to instill in children care for those who need. Otherwise, society is doomed.
There was a pause after my question. I have already encountered such a reaction, communicating with volunteer rescuers, with volunteers. When a person helps not for the sake of something, but simply because there is no other way.
– I don’t even know what to answer, – Natasha was the first to break the silence. – Autopilot, probably. I do not know how else it is possible. This is already a way of life. And it doesn’t matter to whom and where you help: you are taking humanitarian aid to the front line, you brought a bag to your grandmother, or you didn’t leave a dog hit by a car to die on the street. You, most importantly, help.